Monthly Archives: August 2014

Getting And Being Here

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So I apologize for not keeping you up-to-date but it’s been one hell of a ride. I’m going to warn you that there might be some space between my posts because I have an incredible amount of things to get sorted out now that I’m in New York, New York. So it hasn’t been very pretty or dreamy yet, you know “Champions are made in secret.”

One thing that’s been quite startling is that I don’t have any similar past experiences that I can refer to so I know what to expect or how to react. I’ve lived in many places temporarily but have not actually moved outside the state or country before. This is my first time experiencing any form of homesickness. In the past couple weeks I have felt emotional and bodily sensations that I have never felt before. I couldn’t really explain why my stomach was twisting, why I was losing my breath or why I would randomly feel lightheaded like I was going to faint.

It’s been kind of embarrassing how me and my body were (and continued) to react to everything. The good news is that a lot of that weight has been lifted the moment I touched New York soil because the anticipation of what was to come was partly over.

I’ve been here for 5 days and oh man is there so much to learn and do. My most important goal for the time being is to have a month-long room sublet set up for me when I come back from an unplanned trip to New Orleans. That means I only have three more days to find a decent place, meet the tenants and pay upfront! This isn’t as easy as it sounds as the City and its outer boroughs vary greatly from each other and within in terms of safety, proximity to transportation, price, and green space.

Until then…wish me luck.

-Nicole

 

Change Is On Its Way!

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Oh goodness! So remember when I said I needed a big sweeping change and that I was leaving perfect SoCal to somewhere new? Well I’m not only leaving SoCal, I’m picking up and leaving the state altogether to go to NYC! How’s that for change!?

I’ve taken my time posting on my blog because I had to mentally process what was happening. Humans are funny in the way that we don’t “get” what’s happening in the moment.

So that’s it, I’m selling the few possessions I can squeeze cash out of and going into the unknown. I’ve been in the Big City before and have a pretty good idea of what I’m up against. I already heard of all the obstacles that I’ll come across: high rents, expensive lifestyle, traffic, “rude New Yorkers,” endless competition for jobs, cutthroat atmosphere, long working hours, too many people, possible failure and any other negatives that you can think of. This is what I have to say to that: “I know, I’m going anyway.”

Cheers to feeling the fear and pushing through. No one ever got anywhere staying in an un-challenging environment and not putting in the extra effort.

I won’t lie, I’m scared and worried. Either way, the strong, determined daredevil in me is pleading me to do this. This part of me has been laying dormant for a while, when I didn’t have a lick of confidence left in me. Now, after getting fed up with how things were going and getting some guidance in the process, I’m ready for this! I have to thank some of the friends I’ve been hanging out with that told me to do something about my discontentment. They ignored all my excuses and said that I really needed to change my environment (too much of the same thing).

Luckily, I also started to ignore my excuses for why I shouldn’t move to San Francisco or NYC. So here I am with a flight ticket scheduled to depart 6 days from now!

Stay tuned..

-Nicole

 

 

Discovering The Culprit (Part 2)

In his book, Shad Helmstetter talks about the importance of the things we say to ourselves and the directions we give our subconscious, our self-talk. Through studies and personal observation, he determines that people can’t make any lasting positive changes in their lives without changing their mental programming that has gotten them there in the first place.

This is evident in the fact that there are countless self-help books that hold the “keys to success” and yet, have caused change in only a handful of the tens-of-thousands of individuals who have read them. These best selling success solutions would work for a time and then the average person would revert to their old ways.

This is because: The old programming controls the habits, so the old habits take over once again.

“As much as 75% of everything we think is negative, counterproductive, and works against us. And medical researchers say that 75% of all illnesses are self-induced.”

Can you believe that?! We can literally talk and think ourselves into failure and illness. It’s not all our faults, we have all heard around 100,000 “NO’S” up until the age of 18. It’s obvious that we have received a staggering amount of programming from the day we are born. We have been told how we look, what we’re good at, what we’re not good at, and what we can’t do (40). Our computer is pre-programmed to hold us back because of self-doubts and bad habits we have formed without our knowing.

I’m sure you’ve heard about the importance of visualization and the picture you have of yourself. Helmstetter says that we can “override our old programming and replace it with a specific word-for-word new program”(26). And since the subconcious mind believes anything you tell it you can use that to your advantage. It’s as simple as changing this common phrase:

“I’m terrible with remembering names”

to “I’m great with remembering names. My mind is sharp, alert, and excellent at retaining information.”

I know it sounds nutty if it’s not true yet but it makes no difference whether you believe it or not. Your brain simply believes what you tell it most. “What you tell it about you, it will create” (26).

Just think about it, how do you expect yourself to be graceful if you have been telling yourself for the past 20 years that you’re clumsy?! That wouldn’t make sense. Oftentimes, it takes someone outside of ourselves to change our self-perception. Seriously! When I had a banker tell me that I’m “financially literate and I GET the financial picture” something awesome shifted in me.

You start to focus on those encouraging words and look for evidence to support it. Before you know it, you feel better about your ability in XYZ and become more competent as a result.

A really strong tool to help is recording yourself using the self-talk that the Author provides in his later chapters related to different areas in your life. According to him, if you listen to these positive self-talk recordings daily (even when you’re busy doing other things). you will see a change in as little as a week.

* Just yesterday I started using his scripts for motivation, greatness, solving problems, money, and self-esteem and I felt very uplifted.

Remember: Whatever thoughts you have programmed into yourself or have allowed others to program into you are affecting, directing, or controlling everything about you…so why not take in your own hands and choose what is in your mental program?

(I’ll keep you posted on my progress with self-talk in the days to come)

 

 

 

Discovering the Culprit (Part 1)

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In my last post I addressed the concept of potential how I’ve been struggling to reach it with few tangible results. I then ended the post saying that I discovered the main obstacle to my happiness. This is how I found it..

I was writing in my journal about my fears and the actions I have taken to address the areas in my life that were making me unhappy. I had been taking consistent action to be happier with my job and present location (boring hometown where my job was) as well as finding my tribe, dream career and contentment. I definitely did not just sit on my ass and complain. Here’s a few of the many actions I took:

  • Started going to the YMCA
  • Horseback riding weekly
  • Reached out to new people and made a consistent effort to get to know them
  • Joined some meetup groups
  • Tried drawing every week
  • Hiked almost every week
  • picked up Yoga
  • Sought out Karen Palmer for some mentoring
  • Attending SB Dancetribe totally on my own
  • Took career assessments and constantly read helpful articles
  • went on adventurous “dates” with people I didn’t know too well and where (on one occasion) accidentally ended up at a nudist party where I felt incredibly out-of-place.
  • And of course reading all those books that I listed in the “Potential” post.

*The main problem came from within me.

In my journal I wrote:

“I believe that if I didn’t have the anxiety, situational depression, and habit of over-thinking, I would be living my bliss and getting closer and closer to being my best self.”

–>There it was! I hit it on the nail, all I had to do was learn how to think and talk to myself because I did it a lot and most of it was very negative. I was referred to Shad Helmstetter’s book: “What to Say When You Talk To Yourself” through a number of sources and people before I came to this decision. So I quickly went to work and bought it ready to tackle the source of my recurring issues.