Monthly Archives: July 2014

Potential

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Potential – A latent excellence or ability that may or may not be developed (Dictionary.com definition)

Oh that word has haunted and picked at me for over a decade now. No one I can think of has been easy on me, these include: teachers, coaches, art teachers, professors, friends, bosses, and family members. Although they thought they were “helping” me by constantly pushing me to deliver, their “help” took more of an accusatory form rather than a supportive form. It wasn’t empowering at all. Who likes to constantly be told:


“What are you doing?!”

“You can do SO much better, I know what you’re capable of”

“You’re not even delivering on HALF of your potential”

“You’re not doing well right now but I see your potential”

“I can’t wait to see the day you reach your potential”


It’s not bad to be told any of this, it might be just what you needed to hear to stop living in mediocrity. But there is a crushing guilt that comes with consistently (being told that you are) living beneath yourself without a solution or a how being presented.

Me: “Okay thanks for telling me I’m under-delivering now how do I over-deliver?” or “What the f* am I supposed to do now?”

That’s the problem with people “doing you the favor” of telling you that you can do better, they don’t want to help in solving the problem. In reference to my last post, “Foreign to the Comfort Zone,” it’s no wonder I’ve always pushed myself to constantly grow and feel uncomfortable. I was trying to figure out how to be my best self and reach that goddamned potential!

In search of that answer I have read many life-changing books that other successful people have read:

  • “How to Awaken the Giant Within” by Tony Robbins
  • “How to Make Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
  • “The Slight Edge” by Jeff Olson
  • “Train Your Brain for Success” by Roger Seip
  • A little bit of “Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferazzi
  • “The ABCs of Peak Performers” by Bill Poett

I have taken away with me some important concepts I learned in these books and was still running into the same problems I was struggling with before. Finally I figured it out in a moment of deep reflection at a coffee shop on a Saturday morning. I will discuss this in the following post.

Thanks for reading lovely people!

-Nicole

 

 

Foreign to the Comfort Zone

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So I don’t know what it is about my nature but I just don’t know what it feels like to be comfortable, complacent or safely in my comfort zone. That state of being has simply eluded me because something has always compelled me to push for more, strive for the better, and grow – resulting in me constantly feeling challenged and a bit uncomfortable. Does anyone else share this peculiar nature to always stay out of their comfort zone? 

I find it odd that I continue to dabble in the unknown despite my apparent fears and anxieties. Didn’t I read somewhere (everywhere) that the human instinct is to reside in the comfortable because it’s safe and the chances of “survival” are higher? Maybe so but who the heck wants to survive!? We all have this supreme right to thoroughly enjoy our lives and see how much we are really capable of.

I’ll admit that I put myself through all kinds of discomfort in search of adventure, knowledge, passion, and fulfillment and I wouldn’t have it any other way! Because of my natural tendency to remain far from my comfort zone, I have learned and experienced incredible things.

By the age of 24 I have gone skydiving, zip-lining, studied abroad in high school, backpacked to Peru by myself, went scuba diving in Tahiti, swam with sharks and stingrays, and lived in Yellowstone National Park. I have also tried horseback riding, salsa dancing, rock climbing, bouldering, self-defense training and Muay Thai. All this comes with price you see, It required me to be uncomfortable at first (maybe even the whole time). One thing you’ll get out of it…feeling ALIVE!

Just last Friday I finally got the courage to join some of my friends for some Acro Yoga. 5 months ago I would never dream of engaging in this seemingly intimate activity with strangers where at times your faces are inches away from each other. And there I was, being held up by feet and hands and getting juggled around.

You just have to get over it and I swear you’ll feel more comfortable in your skin! I’m glad I gave it a try, even if it took me a couple of months to show up for the first time. I know it won’t be the last!

-Nicole

 

A Much Needed Push

Around the time I was starting to feel miserable and undervalued in my job and place in life (since 2 months ago), I started to google (I have always been an avid googler) topics like “I hate my job”, “how to reach my potential”, “how to push limits”, “reach the impossible”, etc. That’s how I discovered Scott Dinsmore and his “Live Your Legend” movement. It all started with his Ted Talk: “How to find and do work you love” where he informs his audience that a staggering 80% of adults dislike their work and 75% don’t know what their passion is.

Ever since, I’ve been reading his newsletters, using his online tools and exploring his website. Almost two months later, I finally purchased his Live Off Your Passion Course and listened to his strong recommendation of starting a blog to more easily share my ideas with others. I thank him for his guidance because I’d be too chicken to start this on my own due to my perceived lack of tech expertise. If you see a lot of mistakes please bear with me, I’m a total newb at this and it’s an experiment.

 

Stumbling Over Rocks Much?

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Good Afternoon Everybody!

That’s what lead me to search, read, seek guidance, find some answers, and finally to start writing here-stumbling over many rocks in my journey. I’m sure many can relate, whether they be minor setbacks or large ones. We all believe that OUR problems or (better said) “challenges” are a big deal. To give you some much needed validation, they are! Because YOUR world is the only world YOU know! What I’ve learned from experience and my readings is that it is critical that we take the control away from our surroundings and learn to wield it ourselves to avoid “reacting” to life and, instead, to act in an intentional way.

Believe me, this has been a challenge for a while, despite my obsession  with reading books on reaching personal success and potential. I also think that my tendency to react ultimately led to the premature loss of my last job. There’s a silver lining to this occurrence, I was miserable in this job! Ironically enough, when I was called in to get the news, I didn’t fight for it. I literally imagined a mischievous cheshire cat smile because it was my chance to really get going. I’ve been needing a BIG, GOOD, SWEEPING change for a few years now and that’s why I’m preparing to leave perfect sunny SoCal and the familiarity of my home county.

-Nicole

 

A Short Intro

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A fledgling is a young bird that has left the nest but does not yet have all its adult plumage and is still fed by its parents. Fledglings are capable of flying but are inexperienced and may seem reluctant to fly and may show difficulty with landings, takeoffs and distance flight.

 

And lets not get them confused with nestlings who don’t have any flight feathers and are still completely dependent on their parents.

This is a perfect metaphor for describing the many individuals who have had to live with their parents after they legally became adults to stay financially afloat in this unpredictable economic landscape. Or I can use it to accurately describe MY position in life at the moment.

“As the feathers continue to grow (as the person gains more life experience), the bird (individual) will gain more flying skills (life skills) and their plumage (awesomeness) will become indistinguishable from adult birds” (other awesome, well-rounded and established individuals).

Okay, well maybe that isn’t a perfect deconstruction of the metaphor but it works for me! The only discrepancy I can find in this comparison is the fact that birds can not and do not go back and forth between nestling to fledgling to adult, back to fledgling and then, with a major setback, back to nestling.

But humans, in our complicated world of constant change, can go through numerous stages/chapters of life. A lot of us have the luxury and time to conduct experiments in our lives and try new things to make our lives more fulfilling.

That’s what I’m doing right now. It took me six months to finally transform my curiosity and desire to start a blog into the action of starting and writing this blog today. I’m so glad I took the first step and I hope you’ll enjoy following me on this  journey. It took a few activating events to lead me to this place of search and discovery which I will share with you in following posts.

 

-Nicole